JOURNEY TO FRUITFULNESS

For some the fruitful Christian life appears to be a given, it just happens. For most, however, the fruitful Christian life seems to be a struggle to obtain and some never really do. Jesus says in the parable of the sower: “But He that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”

Too many of us seem stuck in the “stony places” and “among the thorns.” How do we ever get out from among those stony places and thorns? It is a question that Christians of every generation have struggled to answer. It is a question which many in this contemporary world are attempting to answer in all the wrong ways. Too many are trying to find meaning and purpose in life in worldly things.

We will only find meaning and purpose in life when we move out of the world’s rocks and thorns and move into the fruitfulness of the Lord. That’s what this book is all about. It is my journey to fruitfulness but I believe it is the story of many and that the lessons contained within can speed up the process of becoming fruitful.

Growing up on a cotton farm in southwestern Oklahoma was for most days very uneventful. So I can remember with clarity when things out of the ordinary did take place in my life. Does cotton burn? That is the question my cousin and I were wondering about one day. We were both five years old, and while our mothers picked cotton for a neighbor we played in the cotton trailer. I knew where some matches were, and that day when we went to the field with our mothers we planned to find the answer to our question.

Our mothers were half way up the cotton row when I got the matches out and began to see if cotton would burn. Yes, cotton does burn, but you have to work at it. The trailer was almost full of cotton and we were both working hard at our new game of burning cotton. Thankfully, someone drove by, saw the danger we were in and rescued us. The cotton and the trailer burned up. I can’t remember my mother ever taking me to pick cotton with her again.

It has occured to me that sin is much like the predicament I was in that day long ago in the cotton trailer. Sin looks like a lot of fun, and most of the time, nothing so bad happens in the beginning. Sin is a deceiver, just as the fire was that day in the cotton trailer. I worked so hard at starting something that could have painfully destroyed me. We work so hard at what we think is a good time and what we are really doing is working to destroy ourselves. I never realized the danger I was in while playing with fire. Most people involved in sin never realize the danger they are in until it is too late.

The burning of the cotton trailer was a shock to a five year old boy and eventually I realized how close I had came to dying. I believe God began to use that in my life to reveal at the very least that I was not immortal.

Another incident occurred a few years later that I know now had a tremendous impact upon my life. I grew up in a family that was nominally Christian, that is, infrequent church attendance but no real personal commitment to Jesus Christ a Savior and Lord. A highlight of most summers was Vacation Bible School. It was a big deal to a little boy trapped out on a farm far away from any friends to play with. One summer in particular was exciting because I not only went to the Methodist Vacation Bible School but I also was invited to go to the Nazarene Vacation Bible School.

The Nazarene Vacation Bible School was located at a little country church and there I encountered more than fun with my friends. My first day in class our teacher asked us if anyone knew the Lord’s Prayer. Without thinking of the consequences, I held up my hand that I knew it. I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t know anything. I had no idea what the Lord’s Prayer was, so I wasn’t prepared for the teacher’s next question. She wanted me to say it! How could I say it when I didn’t even know what it was. My Vacation Bible School teacher had a very fitting assignment for me during the rest of the week. My project was to memorize the Lord’s Prayer and say it during the program Saturday night when all the parents would be there to see what their children had made and learned during the week. I can tell you that it was very lonely up there on the stage Saturday night when all by myself I recited the Lord’s Prayer. It was my first experience with Scripture memorization and with being in front of so many people. I now knew what the Lord’s Prayer was!

When I was about 10 years old my family began attending church on a regular basis for about two years. One Sunday, my parents, my sister, and I walked up to the front at the end of the worship service and joined church. We were all sprinkled with water. After that if anyone were to ask me if I was a Christian, I would tell them that I was a Christian. Because I was a member of a church and I had been sprinkled with water. Our church attendance ended when my grandfather became ill and for a while weekends were spent travelling to spend time with him.

One summer I was invited to go to church camp by the church where I was a member. It was an exciting event. While there at camp I believe God was speaking to me trying to get my attention. I remember being off to myself sitting on a picnic table one afternoon. The surroundings were beautiful in a place called Devil’s Canyon. While sitting there I began to think about my future life. What would happen? Where would I go? What would I do? At the time I didn’t think that I would go to college. I thought I would most likely get a job, marry, have a family. I wanted to make a lot of money, start a business. Then, I would retire early and live on all the money I had made and enjoy life. Finally, as I was looking into the future I arrived at death. I couldn’t see anything after death, it was just black.

If only someone had told me then about Jesus, if only an invitation had been given at the services. What a difference it would have made in my life to have had Jesus during those teenage years.

The Christmas before the church camp I was given a guitar and began to work hard at learning to play. It wasn’t long before I was playing lead guitar in a rock band. I arrived at college in the midst of the Vietnam War in 1968 far, far from God. Illegal drugs were beginning to arrive even in Oklahoma. My second semester in college I didn’t have a roommate and was very lonely. Something was missing and wrong in my life more than just not having a roommate. God was what I needed.

My uncle once shared with me how his father handled his college wildness. He told me that during his freshmen year his dad paid all of his expenses and had bought him a car. However, my uncle said that he began to party and go to the bars in Oklahoma City. As a result his grades were not the best as you can imagine. When he arrived home for the summer my uncle expected to be severely reprimanded for what he had done but his dad never said anything. He worked on the farm that summer with his dad and eventually the day arrived for him to return to college. My uncle said he went to get his car out of the garage but he couldn’t because his dad had nailed boards over the doors so he there was no way to get it out. He went back to school that year on a bus and worked in a hamburger stand to make enough money to pay his own way to college. It definitely had an impact on his life!

Have you ever been blind? Most of us can say that we have at some point been spiritually blind, and I was, but have you ever been physically blind? During the summer after my freshmen year at college I found out what it is like for a brief period of time to be blind. My sister and her husband were visiting us and had brought their trail bikes with them. I had never been allowed to ride a motorcycle because my dad had had a bad experience once on one when he was young. But that day I talked my brother-in-law and my sister into allowing me to learn to ride. They took the bike out to the pasture where there were very few things around for me to hit and off I went. Before I had gone very far I thought of something I wanted to ask them and turned around. Somehow instead of slowing down I accelerated, veered off to the right, ran up a fence post and fell through a barbed wire fence.

When I fell I was cut up by the barbed wire and I hit my head very hard. When I stood up and opened my eyes I couldn’t see. Everything was just black. I began yelling, “I can’t see!” “I can’t see!” “I can’t see!” They led me to the house and called an opthamologist in a nearby town. After several minutes I began to see some light and the blackness just fell away. Except for the cuts there appeared to be no permanent damage and the cuts would heal. Being blind is a frightening experience not being able to see you are likely to run into things and things are likely to run into you. Spiritual blindness is the same thing. When we are spiritually blind we can’t see how badly we are stumbling but we are.

During that summer I met and began dating my future wife, Jeanie. Her brother-in-law was the uncle of our bass guitar player and we were practicing in their garage. During that summer I attended a Baptist church several times because Jeanie’s dad required that I be at church on Sunday evening if we were going to see each other afterwards. It seemed like a strange rule to me at the time but God would use that to draw me closer to Him.

By the end of the first semester of our Sophmore year, Jeanie and I were engaged and had set our wedding date for the end of January 1970. I decided that I was going to stop playing in the band. It seemed the right thing to do, I wanted to please my future wife and her God.

After our marriage, Jeanie and I moved to Oklahoma City where Jeanie found a job as a secretary and I continued going to college. One night, two months after our marriage (March 23, 1970), Jeanie shared with me her testimony. She shared how in Vacation Bible School when she was a little girl she had invited Jesus Christ into her heart and life. After sharing her testimony, Jeanie then asked me to share with her my testimony. I didn’t know about this Jesus stuff but I was a member of a church and I had been sprinkled with water didn’t that make me a Christian?

By morning reality was sitting in and I believed there was a God, I believed that Jesus was the Son of God and I also believed that there was a place called Heaven and a place called Hell. After what Jeanie had shared with me I had some serious doubts about my eternal destination. I was confused and concerned enough to call a church nearby and schedule an appointment with their pastor at 10:00 a.m.

After arriving at the church, I shared with the pastor, Finley Tinnin, that I wasn’t sure if I was a Christian or not. He began by describing how Jesus had suffered and died on the cross for our sins and rose again on the third day. He asked me if I believed that was true and I said that I did. He then shared with me what Jesus says in Revelation 3:20, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Dr. Tinnin then asked if I would like to invite Jesus into my heart and I said that I did. I bowed my head and prayed silently asking Jesus to come into my heart and life. I don’t know if I said the right words or not but I’m thankful that God not only reads lips but He also reads hearts. I made my decision public at the Baptist Temple in Oklahoma City on Sunday evening March 29 and was baptized Sunday evening at the end of the service on April 5, 1970.

Now whenever I’m in a preaching service and the preacher is preaching about salvation or I’m reading my Bible and I’m thinking about salvation the moment the Holy Spirit brings me back to is that moment in Dr. Tinnin’s study. I’m not worried about my eternal destination anymore I know where I’m headed. When I think of death it’s not all black out there like it once was at that church camp when I was fourteen years old. As I think about death now I know that it is only the point of departure for eternity with my Lord and my Savior. You can know that you have eternal life. The Bible says in 1 John 5:13, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”

If you’re not sure of your eternal destination why not settle the matter now? Invite Jesus Christ into your heart and life. If you are willing to turn from your sins (repent), not that you can clean up your life yourself but that you want Jesus to help you, then pray and invite Him into your heart and life. You can pray something like this:

Dear Lord Jesus, please forgive me for the sins that I’ve committed, the bad things that I have done. Please come into my heart and life, save me, and help me to live my life in the way that will be pleasing to You, be my Lord and my Master. Thank you for saving me. Amen.

Remember it is not so much the words you say but whether or not you meant it in your heart. God not only reads lips but He also reads hearts.

It may be that you are a new Christian or that you have been a Christian for many years but you’re not really, really sure about your salvation. If you were to die tonight would you go to Heaven or Hell? If you don’t have an answer why not settle it now? You can never and will never become fruitful if you have doubts about your salvation. Before you can move forward in this journey to fruitfulness you have to know that you know that you know that you have been saved and your eternal destination is Heaven.

Here is what I would propose if you are not sure about your salvation. Set aside a few hours when you can be alone with God and resolve that you will not leave until you know whether you are saved or not. Take your Bible, turn to 1 John and prayerfully, carefully read and reread the book until God speaks and you know where you stand with Him. God wants you to know whether you are His child or not. He has plans for you and those plans cannot be fulfilled as long as you are lost or doubting your salvation. Allow God the opportunity to settle this matter for you.

For several days after praying to receive Jesus as my Savior I experienced a peace which I have not experienced before or since. I wish that I could say that I lived a perfect life after being born again but I have not. Within a few weeks of being saved we had moved to the other side of Oklahoma City and used this as an excuse for not attending church. We did attend church a few times at a small church close to us but that was all.

Within a year things were beginning to fall apart in my life. Usually things do fall apart without God especially for the child of God. God will correct and chastise His children and allow them to experience the hurts and pains that occur when they stray away from Him. In Hebrews 12:3-11 the Bible tells us:

“For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh uto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement whereof all are partakers, then are ye illegitimate, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

About a year after I was saved things were definitely going downhill spiritually. I was working two part time jobs and going to school full-time. Jeanie was still working as a secretary. Within the space of a year and a half I had had three car accidents and my insurance costs were spiraling higher and higher. We still were not attending church, I wasn’t praying and I wasn’t reading the Bible. Instead I was becoming you could say more and more tempted by the things of this world.

What happened next is for the most part predictable for those who leave God out of there lives. Our marriage and everything else began to fall apart. I quit one part-time job and I dropped a class. I dropped a couple of more classes and quit my other part-time job. Before I knew it I had dropped all of my classes and wasn’t working either. I was just going to get on with life, start a career. There was a problem though with the plan, I couldn’t find a job. It wasn’t that I wasn’t looking, I was but nothing was happening. After about seven weeks of this I hadn’t even had a job interview. After seven weeks of this, and all of the weeks before, Jeanie had had enough.

While we were visiting Jeanie’s parents one weekend, as it was time to leave to go home Jeanie told me that she was going that she was leaving. It was a long drive home. The first thing I did when I got home was to get down on my knees and pray. It was the first time I had prayed in about a year and a half. I asked God to forgive me, to bring Jeanie back and to help me to find a job. Then, I went bed and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to the telephone ringing. The call was about a job interview in downtown Oklahoma City with the Kerr McGee Corporation. I went to see about that job and then came back home. As I was walking in the door the telephone was ringing again, it was about another job interview. I went to the interview and I was working at 12:30 p.m. that day. Eventually, because that job was full-time but allowed me to move the hours around I was able to return to college and complete my degree.

I wrote Jeanie a long letter apologizing for any and everything I had ever done and sent her flowers every day. At the end of the week Jeanie came back home and we have been together ever since. I knew that God had answered my prayer. God had become very, very real and I made a commitment that I was going to pray every day. I’ve kept that commitment. Sometimes the prayers have been short, and sometimes they have been long but I have been praying every day since then.

It was a start and prayer began to move me closer to God. But we still were not attending church and I still wasn’t reading God’s Word. Here’s how God attempted to obtain my attention. The day had started normally enough. After dropping Jeanie off at work in Oklahoma City (We were now living in Yukon, a suburb of Oklahoma City.), I was on my way to class at Edmond (Another suburb.). On the way, I had the closest thing I have ever had to a vision. You could call it a daydream, a daydream of a little country church out to the west of Edmond and of car trouble. In the dream I could see the church and somehow knew that I could get help at the little church. Why, I didn’t know, as I had never been inside the church and had only driven by a few times. As I drove into the college parking area, I was finally able to focus my thoughts on the classes ahead.

My classes were over, and I was ready to head home. “Should I go on the interstate or cut through the country?” I suddenly remembered my earlier thoughts about car trouble and decided to take the Edmond Road. As I drove west out of Edmond, I began to think I was becoming paranoid. The car was doing great, no sign of any problem, where had those thoughts about car trouble come from?

The car was still running fine when the engine began to make a noise. Ahead about a mile I could see the little country church (Hopewell Baptist Church aka the Teepee Church at 178th and MacArthur). I thought to myself, “If it doesn’t get any worse, I’ll try to make it there, I can find help there.” The car did make it to the church, but it died right in front of the church and wouldn’t start. I used the phone in the parsonage, and soon a wrecker came to tow my car away. Later, I found out the bolts holding the fan belt pulleys on had broken. Thirty-six dollars and a few days later, the car was good as new, but I would never forget the experience.

Has God ever given you a hint that you ought to be in church and making time in your life for Him? I have no doubt that He gave me one! At the time, I was too far away from God to realize what had happened. I can see clearly now that God was just trying to get my attention. It took several years and a few more hints, but finally He did have my attention. The regret that I have is that I didn’t immediately start attending that little country church on Edmond Road. Life would have been so much better if I had made time for God during those early years of marriage. Fruitfulness would have come much sooner.

It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

The amazing grace of God is beyond human comprehension but not beyond human experience and I am very thankful for that. Walking with God, living the Christian life doesn’t just happen. We still have spiritual choices to make. We can choose to follow the Voice of the Good Shepard or we can choose to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Romans 8:5-6 makes these choices clear, “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires, but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what that nature desires. The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 13:14 clarifies this even more, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

I am so thankful that once we are in the hand of God, that “...we have been sealed unto the day of redemption,” and that nothing can take us out of God’s hand not even ourselves because, “...His mercies are new every morning.” God’s salvation through Jesus Christ not only saves us from past sins (justification) , but keeps on saving us (sanctification), until someday we will meet our Lord face to face and this fleshly body will be changed and we will live forever in the House of the Lord (glorification).

However, just because we have fire insurance and we know God’s mercies will never end does not mean that we should or even can go on living the life of the seemingly happy pagan. God will not allow that and we have a new nature (2 Corinthians 5:17), we can never go back to living like we were and enjoy life. The most miserable people I know are Christians who have turned their back on God and are trying to live in sin. I know they are miserable because I have tried to do that myself. I’m thankful that God did not give up on me but continued to work in my life and continued to allow things to happen in my life to draw me back to Him.

In 1975, I began working in the oilfield in pipe inspection. The money was good but it was the most miserable job that I had ever had. I was still praying every day and before long I was asking God to give me a different job because I hated the one that I had. It was as though God wasn’t listening. He knew exactly what I was asking and thinking and doing and feeling but He was not answering because sin had entered into my life. The oilfield for the most part was filled with many forms of evil. Alcohol and drug abuse was rampant along with other forms of immorality. The hard work seemed to be used as an excuse to go out and live like the devil. Party all night and work hard all day. Every month or so we would have a job out of the area and would have to spend a week or two living out of a motel. Of course this only increased the availability of all of the above that I mentioned. After work we would go eat and before going back to the motel we would all go to the bar. It was the expected and accepted thing to do in that environment. During that time period I saw what it was like inside of a biker strip joint, I saw a man shoot up once with some kind of drug and have a very bad trip. And I saw other things that I don't like to remember.

Now I knew that what I was doing was wrong and every night I would ask God to forgive me and to give me another job. But I kept on doing what I wanted to do and kept on missing out on what God had for my life. However, we most of the times sell God short on what He is able to do. We believe that He can change other people and do things in their lives. But when it gets right down to it we don’t really believe that He can do it in our lives. At least I didn’t believe that He could do it. But God surprised me with His amazing grace and demonstrated that He knew right where I was and what I was doing and that He still cared enough about me to warn me.

(A Letter from God)

One night when we were working out of town and having to stay in a motel, I called my wife. Jeanie told me that I had gotten a letter. Now I had had a mail order business of setting words to music. I didn’t make but fifteen dollars a song and it took me hours to do each song but I enjoyed it. Apparently this woman that wrote me the letter had seen my ad. It was an anonymous letter and began, “Dear People.” the lady that wrote the letter obviously had some mental problems but God was able to use her anyway. The letter was some seven or eight pages long and Jeanie read every word and with every word the conviction of my sin grew. The letter basically told about how sin had destroyed this woman’s life and it was a warning to others to flee from Sin. By the time Jeanie had finished reading the letter I knew that this was not a letter from some mentally deranged person, this was a message STRAIGHT FROM THE HAND OF GOD TO ME.

I had a choice at the point I could listen to God or continue my rebellion even in the face of His warnings and love for me. It was enough for me to immediately be on my knees crying out for my Lord’s forgiveness. The next day I left my driver’s license at the motel and after work as usual we ate and then I tried to get them to take me back to the motel room but they wouldn’t do it. They took me with them and tried to force me to go in the bar with them, the same one we had been in the night before. But they wouldn’t let me in because I looked so young and didn’t have an ID. So I sit out in the truck for several hours until they decided to go home, and that’s what I continued to do the rest of the time we were gone from home.

I believe and have experienced God’s blessings upon my life when I do what He wants me to do. Two weeks later after my encounter with God through the letter I suddenly had a job like paradise compared to the one that I had had. I had heard some of the men on my crew talking about a position that was going to be open soon with a new company. This new company was just getting into electronic inspection of tubular goods. By that time I had learned some basics about electronic inspection and was an assistant operator on the casing inspection unit. But basically my job was still rolling and cleaning pipe. We would work all day and all night many times so that we could get to another job and work all day and all night. It didn’t matter whether it was hot or cold, I remember working in an ice storm and having to use a hammer to beat the ice off of the joint of pipe so that a stripe of paint indicating inspection could be painted. The surprising thing about the new job was that I heard two men on my crew saying that they thought they were going to get this job with the new company. My wife had a friend who owned an answering service and she told the owner of this new company about me. Suddenly I had a new job, I wasn’t qualified for it, but I had it and I knew that it had come straight from the hand of God. God gave me the ability and wisdom to do that new job. Once again God had surprised me in an amazing way. But than, God enjoys doing exactly that.

Are you living a life of sin? Have you never experienced the abundant life? God is able to change your life to empower you to live a life that for all practical purposes is free from sin. Why not ask Him to help you to live such a life? Why not ask God to make your life a miracle to make your life fruitful for Him? He may not send you a letter but He will get your attention and change you in a very personal way that perhaps only you can fully comprehend. God loves you and He is able to change you and transform your life so that you have life and that you have it more abundantly. Why not ask God to help you, right now?

The Bible tells us in Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more as ye see the day approaching.”

By this point in my life in 1976 I was praying every day and had been to church a few times during that year. Now God began working on a new area of spiritual need in my life. I had never heard or remembered reading Hebrews 10:24-25 but the Holy Spirit began to convict me of my need to be in church.

Attending church regularly usually begins with a commitment. For me, that commitment came while I was working in the oilfield. My job required being available on a 24-hour basis. And in those days I didn’t have a pager and a cell phone. We had to call the answering service and let them know of the telephone number that we would be at if we were to be gone. I had a outside bell installed at home so that if I was needed I wouldn’t miss the call. It seemed to me that it was difficult to find the time to be in church and frequently I would be working on Sunday and Wednesday so I used that as an excuse for my non-attendance.

Attending church is a right which we take for granted. In this country we can either go to church if we want to, or we can stay away. Many people in other countries know what it is like to have that right taken away. The German, Russian, and Chinese people know what it is like to lose the right to attend the church of their choice. But, even some people in this country have temporarily lost that right.

Howard Rutledge lost the right to attend the church of his choice when his plane was shot down over Vietnam. Howard experienced seven long years in captivity. He had been raised in church and had received Jesus as his Savior, but after getting married he stopped attending church. His excuse was always how busy his job kept him, and the cocktail hour at the officer’s club seemed to be more exciting. However, under the pressure of Vietnamese torture and years in solitary confinement, Howard rediscovered his faith in God. He struggled to recall verses of Scripture and hymns, and eventually succeeded in remembering about 100 hymns and Scripture verses. Each day he would pray and go through all of the 100 hymns and scripture passages that he had recalled. Howard made a commitment early on in those seven years of captivity to attend church faithfully if he was ever released.

In February, 1973, Howard was released from the Vietnamese prison. On the day he was released from the Navy hospital, Howard and his family attended church at the First Southern Baptist Church of Clairmont, California. That day Howard thanked the people of the church for their prayers and told them that it was only through their prayers and his faith in God that he was able to survive. Howard transferred his membership to the Clairemont church that same Sunday. Because of Howard’s testimony, five people came forward during the invitation and prayer to receive Jesus as their Savior.

While he was in the Vietnamese prison, Howard had a deep regret that he had not attended church faithfully with his family. I, too, regret the years I failed to attend church regularly and faithfully. For the most part, I look now at those years as being wasted, as years that the locusts ate.

From 1976 to 1978 I began to attend church more and more frequently until God intervened in my life again. This time God’s intervention came in the form of our second son, Nick. Nick was born September 2, 1978 and our lives would never be the same again. God used my newborn son to stimulate me spiritually and bring me to a point of commitment about my church attendance. I made a commitment to God that to the best of my ability I was going to be in church whenever the doors were open. Meaning Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other time there was a service. I would have been a part of the WMU (Women’s Missionary Union) if they would have let me.

Now this was not an easy commitment to keep but whenever I was not on a job I was committed to be in church. It is amazing to look back and see how God moved to make it possible for me to do exactly that. Sometimes I would be out on a job until late on Saturday but I would be home Sunday morning and would attend Sunday School and the morning worship services. But that afternoon I would be called out on another job. Or it might be that I had to work Sunday morning and but I would be home for the Sunday evening service. Sometimes I would have to work all day Sunday but I would be home on Wednesday night and be able to attend the prayer meeting then. So God worked out after I made the commitment and began to follow through so that I could be in church at least once a week. And now I’m there virtually all the time! My only regret about church attendance is that I didn’t begin attending on a regular basis much sooner.

We have to the tendency to be lazy people and so we as non-Christians or as baby Christians look at church as a waste of time. There are other things that we want to do like catching up on our sleep, going to the lake, having some quality time with our families. In the past sincere Christians would not work on Sunday and would keep all activities to a minimum on the first day of the week which was the day that our Lord Jesus arose from the dead. But that seems to be a quaint custom of the past in the eyes of many today. In my first pastorate many of the members of the church were farm families and I remember having several discussions about whether or not you should work on Sunday. There was one man in our congregation, Raymond Pickering, who except for very rare emergencies simply did not work on Sundays except to feed his cattle in the winter. As I was visiting with another farmer/rancher one day he talked about how many hours a week that he had to work and during harvest it would be day and night. He said that he wished that he could be like Raymond. Because he had watched Raymond over the years and even though Raymond didn’t work on Sundays he still seemed to have time for every thing and still came to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. This man seemed to be even more amazed at how God had blessed Raymond financially. He said that He knew God could do it but he just didn’t have the faith to stop working on Sundays.

An amazing thing about God is how He multiplies anything given or committed to Him. If we commit our money to Him, He will than make the remaining amount of our finances stretch further then if we had not given. If we give up a few hours of sleep and what we humans think of as rest and give it to God, then, He will multiply the remaining hours of our week so that they are more useful to us. He will use that time given to Him to give us more energy and strength. We think that if we stay at home on Sunday and take our family to the lake or some other family outing that this is quality time. That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. There is no better quality family time than to have your family in church on Sunday. The church is what has held my family together. The church is what has kept my children out of trouble. The church is where I have learned about God and been empowered to go forth in His Name.

When the Israelites were wandering in the desert for 40 years their clothes and shoes did not wear out. When Jesus blessed the bread and fishes of the little boy the result was that in the hands of God thousands were fed and 12 basketfulls of fragments (one for each disciple) were left over. When we commit hour time and resources (actually they are not ours but God’s anyway.) to God He multiplies and blesses them.

It is obviously God’s will for us to be in church to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together and so much the more as we see the approaching day of our Lord’s coming. I like what C. S. Lewis says, “There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “All right, then, have it your way.” The point is this: God will never force us to do His will: it’s up to us to decide to do His will...and then to do it.”

“For we know that all things work to the good to those who love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

Why do bad things happen to good people? I wish there was an easy answer to that question. I have heard many good approaches to this and if we read the book of Job we find that the friends of Job had some seemingly good answers but they were wrong. Just as many are wrong today who try to approach the bad and ugly of life in a simplified way.

In the beginning creation was perfect, and there was no pain, heartache, or death. We know what happened with perfection, Adam and Eve chose to eat of the forbidden fruit in disobedience to God’s command. As a result, sin entered into the world and a perfect creation became imperfect. Adam and Eve were banned from the Garden of Eden, and as a result of their sin they were no longer physically immortal. Adam and Eve died a physical death, just as their descendants have had to die a physical death. The only exceptions were Enoch and Elijah who were taken to heaven without experiencing death.

On September 2, 1978, God blessed us with our second child, another son. We named him Nick and as with most parents, even before he was born, we had plans for his life. Those plans came to an end when the doctor called me at about 10:00 P.M. the night of Nick’s birth. The doctor wasn’t sure what was wrong but the baby was having difficulty and had to be taken to Children’s Hospital in Oklahoma City. I followed the ambulance to Oklahoma City that night, praying all the way for my son.

Within a few hours after arriving at Children’s Hospital, the immediate physical problems were solved and Nick was released for the intensive care unit. He remained in the hospital for most of the week while many tests were performed. A doctor eventually explained that he could say with 99% certainty that my baby boy had Downs Syndrome. This Diagnosis was confirmed a few weeks later with a chromosome test. The doctor strongly recommended that I should consider allowing the baby to be placed in an institution. For me that was not an option, because I knew that Nick was my son and that God had given him to me, I just wanted to take Nick home. I still remember pulling into the driveway at my wife’s parent’s home with our new son. Jeanie came hurrying out and with Nick between us we hugged each other and Nick.

Why do bad things happen? I struggled with that and prayed and prayed that God would change Nick and make him “normal.” One night I was determined that I was going to pray all night, if necessary, until God healed Nick. If it took longer than a night I was going to stay on my knees as long as was needed until God heard my pleadings and healed my son. I kneeled beside Nick’s crib and began to pray. In less than an hour the answer came. No, God wasn’t going to change Nick, at least not in the way that I was wanting. But it was going to be okay. God was going to be with me, and Jeanie, and Nick. Whatever might be ahead in the future God would be there with us and His strength would be sufficient. I haven’t questioned God since that night.

Almost 19 years later I can now look back and see that Nick truly has been a blessing to our family. In fact I believe that through Nick, God has given me and my family our greatest blessing. Nick has changed our lives for the better and taught us much about the real way of love. Not only has Nick changed our lives but he has touched and continues to touch and change the lives of many, many others.

When Nick was born my eyes were suddenly opened to a whole new world that I had been trying hard to avoid. Suddenly I could see a world of hurting people. Suddenly I could see others like Nick that were mentally handicapped, others in wheelchairs, others with incurable diseases, others mired in the disease of sin in a desperate need of a Savior. I was once blind to their world but through Nick I could see. Through Nick, God gave me a heart of love and compassion that is still being enlarged as God still works in my life through my son. Through Nick I suddenly had a desire more so than ever before to seek the comfort and love of my Lord God.

Because of Nick I began to be even more faithful in attending church, praying and reading God's Word. I began to seek what God had for me to do in this life. Surely there was more for me to do than simply make money and try to be a good witness in the process. Through Nick I began to hear the call of God upon my life. As I think about the horror of abortion, and of how now they can determine if a child has Downs Syndrome early enough in pregnancy to abort it, I can only be thankful that we didn’t have that option. How awful to have aborted God’s greatest blessing upon our lives. How many hundreds of thousands are now doing exactly that.

No, things are not perfect in this world, but God is true to His promise in Romans 8:28 to bring good out of the bad for those who choose to love God and serve Him, “...who are the called according to His purpose.”

Individually we all face challenges from day to day. On our coins in this country is the phrase In God We Trust. Do you trust God? Do I trust God? In the day to day circumstances of life do we trust God? Learning to lean upon and trust God and His resources will bring joy to our lives even in times like these.

There was a missionary I once heard about who was given his first assignment in Brazil. He would be going deep into the Amazon basin. The retiring missionary told the new missionary of all the dangers that he would be facing from snakes to wild animals. Then he told him about the danger from the people that lived there. The retiring missionary told the new missionary that he would be wise to buy a handgun and keep it with him.

The new missionary bought the gun and over the years found some comfort knowing that the weapon was easily in reach in his back pack. Living and working among the natives on the Amazon he faced many dangers but never once had to use his gun. After twelve years of service and danger the missionary returned to the United States. He would soon be reassigned to another mission field.

After a few weeks at home the missionary began sorting out his belongings and remembered his gun. He thought to himself that he no longer had need of it. So he took the gun out to the country so he could fire and dispose of the bullets. He pointed the gun at a tree and pulled the trigger. “Click.” He pulled the trigger again. “Click.” Again, and again he pulled the trigger. “Click, click, click, click.” All of the shells had been corroded and rendered useless long ago.

After talking with some firearms experts he discovered that the weapon was probably useless within three months of when he bought it. Because the extreme humidity on the Amazon the shells usefulness lasted only a short while. All that time the missionary had been trusting in the weapon to protect him when really in was useless. He now knew who had really protected him during those twelve years.

All of the time that I was a probation and parole officer I carried a handgun. It was a requirement of the Department of Corrections that we carry a weapon in many situations. Also as a matter of practicality being a police officer there would be times that we would be called upon to help citizens and other officers. Carrying a weapon was a problem for me at first and I spent much time in prayer before I knew what was right for my situation. I came to the conclusion that if it was necessary that I could use the weapon to protect myself or to protect someone else.

Over the years that I served as a probation and parole officer I was exposed to many dangerous situations. At times it was necessary to draw my weapon and have it ready to fire. It was necessary to do this during drug raids, and sometimes when making arrests. I also had a caseload that was at times spread out over a large area covering several counties. Many clients that I visited on a random unannounced basis lived in very isolated areas. I never once had to fire my weapon to defend myself or someone else during those years. I know that the Lord protected me.

I remember an incident in which God taught me much about trusting Him. During the first part of 1983 I was still working in the oilfield. When this particular incident happened I was working on a rig location close to Chickasha, Oklahoma, almost two hours from my home in Elk City.

On my way to work I prayed for my family and for their protection. There being no phone on the location, my first indication that something was wrong came when my replacement arrived. I was told that one of my two sons had been severely burned, and that I needed to return to Elk City immediately.

While being driven home, I imagined all kinds of terrible things that could have happened. Would I trust God? Would I pray and ask Him for help? Would I be angry and bitter that God had allowed this to happen? Really, those thoughts didn’t cross my mind because I knew God was my son’s only hope. I accepted the worst that could have happened and still might happen. Then I placed all of my hope and my focus upon my Lord. This was a conscious decision to trust God no matter what the outcome of this circumstance might be.

I finally reached a phone that worked and was able to talk to Jeanie. I found out that our oldest son, Clark, had been in an accident and his face was severely burned. Clark and a friend had attempted to start a fire with gun powder taken from his friend’s home. The explosion was powerful enough to knock Clark backward and onto the ground. Jeanie told me that Clark had received excellent and immediate treatment in the emergency room. Even though Clark’s face was burned, his eyes were not injured. The concern now was about possible lung damage, which usually accompanies such an accident, and the extent of the scarring.

During the remaining minutes of my trip home, I continued to pray. Things were still quite bleak, but at least Clark was alive and he could see. Within a week it was obvious that there was no lung damage, and Clark’s face would have only a small area of scarring. And that is just one of the times that God supernaturally protected our son. Today Clark is the pastor of a church at Little City, Oklahoma while he completes seminary.

In God We Trust, much easier said than done. But I knew that somehow God had protected Clark, because there was no other explanation possible. All situations in my life may not have such miraculous conclusions, but I have chosen to place my trust in God for better or for worse. The Psalmist says it much better than I, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

I would strongly encourage you to pray for the protection of your loved ones and other on your prayer lists as you begin every day. As a pastor during a two week period I once stopped praying for the protection of those on my prayer lists. Within two weeks there were six people in the hospital with life threatening illnesses and conditions which I have come to believe would not have happened if I had been praying. Needless to say I have not had such a gap in my prayer life since that time.

Today why not place your trust in God?

How does God speak? I was once in an abnormal psychology class and my professor, Dr. Scott was asked how you could really know someone was mentally ill and needed treatment. He answered by saying that if a person was hearing voices that this was a good indication. Then, he paused and said, “But if you talk to any Baptist Deacon they will tell you that they hear the Voice of God.” I’m not sure if Dr. Scott’s personal opinion was that every Baptist Deacon is crazy or that they could be excluded from his definition of the truly mentally ill. But I believe that not only every Baptist deacon, but every preacher and every Child of God should be able to hear the Voice of God.

In the Old Testament in 1 Kings we have the great encounter of Elijah with the prophets of Baal. The result was the that the prophets of Baal were destroyed. Queen Jezebel was a little upset by this and sent a messenger to Elijah and the message was this, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” When Elijah heard this he ran for his life and even though God had just demonstrated His power in a mighty, mighty way on Mount Carmel Elijah became depressed. Here is what happened next:

“And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God. And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?

And He said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

And He said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; bu the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:8-13

In 1979 after the birth of our second son, Nick, with Downs Syndrome I began to question why I was working in the oilfield. Was there not more to life? Was there not something that would give satisfaction? I believe God was setting the stage for what happened next. My wife and I had the opportunity to go as sponsors for our church youth group to Falls Creek. Falls Creek is one of the largest if not the largest youth church camp in the world. I was not prepared and Jeanie was not prepared for what happened there at camp. I rode with our pastor at the time, J.R. Sammons, and listened during the four hour trip to some of the adventures and tribulations of being a pastor. But never did anyone ever say anything to me during the week about the possibility of my being a preacher. It didn’t matter because whether I was in the evening preaching service or I was in the church cabin or out walking around I could hear God’s Voice. God’s Voice was continuous and He was calling me to preach His Word. I couldn’t escape it.

On Thursday night, after nearly four days of hear God’s Voice I went forward during the evening invitation to make a commitment to preach God’s Word. The preacher of the evening message preached a message about salvation. The invitation was a call to Christ. But I along with thiry or forty others heard a call to service. The missionary that counseled with me warned me that before I left that place the devil would attack me. Little did I know!

Later, after returning to the cabin, I shared with Jeanie the commitment that I had made. I was not prepared for the response. Her response was why had I not talked with her about it before making such a commitment and that many people who come to camp the first time become emotional and make commitments because of the excitement. At that point I began to question what I had done, maybe I was just emotional wanting to serve God more. Jeanie pointed out that I had never mentioned being called by God to preach before and that I seemed to have very limited abilities that would enable me to do such a thing. She was right! I did have very little speaking ability at that time and I was introverted and did not really even enjoy being around people. How could I possibly think that I could be a preacher?

From that point I became very depressed and for the next several weeks remained so. It was one of the most miserable times in my life. Why was this happening? In 1 Thessalonians 5:19 the Bible says, “Quench not the Spirit.” That was exactly what I was doing. God had spoken and I had even said yes but now had backed out on doing what He wanted. Throwing water so to speak on the fire of God in my life. The depression that I was experiencing was the result of another way that God has of speaking. The depression was a different tone of God’s Voice, it was not a still, soft voice.

In Colossians 3:15 we find the Bible giving direction for know whether we are in the will of God, “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” The peace of God was definitely not ruling in my heart! Jonah had a somewhat similar experience:

“Now the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is com up before me. But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord.” Jonah 1:1-3.

Eventually there came a storm and Jonah was thrown overboard in order for the rest of the people on the ship to live. God had prepared a great fish which swallowed Jonah. At this point you can begin to see that God is using a tone of Voice with Jonah similar to what I was experiencing:

“Then Jonah prayed unto the Lord his God out of the fish’s belly. And said, I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and He heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice.” This is not a happy camper! For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about: all thy billows and thy waves passed over me. Then I said, I am cast out of thy sight; yet I will look again toward thy holy temple. The waters compassed me about, even to the soul: the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head. I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O Lord my God. When my soul fainted within me I remembered the Lord: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple. They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy. But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord. And the Lord spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.”

Jeremiah experineced something similar, “O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou are stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me. For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the Lord was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily. Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in His name. But His Word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay” (Jeremiah 20:7-9).

Remember the call of Moses? He finally goes but not before:

"And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee. And the Lord said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod. And He said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it. And the Lord said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand: That they may believe that the Lord God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of jacob, hath appeared unto thee.

And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. And the Lord said unto him. Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say. And he said, O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses....”

Jonah had a change of heart, as did Jeremiah, and as did Moses. They decided that whatever God wanted was what they were going to do. I wasn’t quite to that point but I did publicly rededicate my life at our church. The first time that I remember doing that but it wasn’t the last. I began to serve the Lord in our church. I taught a youth Sunday School class then an adult Sunday School Class. I served as Sunday School Director and was ordained as a deacon. But God was not finished with me yet, and we know that God was not finished either with Jonah after the fish spit him out on the shore.

God is most likely not finished with you either. I believe that every born again believer has the call of God upon their lives. God has a plan, a purpose, thoughts toward your life. The most miserable people I know are those who have heard God call and have tried to turn away from that call, from that Voice. “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3) Why be miserable? Call upon the Lord and He will show you what He wants.

Can you hear God calling? "And the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli. And the word of the Lord was precious in those days; there was no open vision. And it came to pass at that time, when Eli was laid down in his place, and his eyes began to wax dim, that he could not see; And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the Lord, where the arek of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep; That the Lord called Samuel: and he answered Here am I. And he ran unto Eli, and siad, Here am I ; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down agian. And he went and lay down. And the Lord called yet again. Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I ; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again. Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him. And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child. Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place."

"And the Lord came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth” (1 Samuel 3:1-10). Is the Lord calling you? Can you hear Him speaking your name? The still, small voice of God? Why not say, “Speak for thy servant hearth.” Why not say with Isaiah, “Here am I; send me” (Isaiah 6:8c).

“For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” Romans 11:29 “And the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the second time, saying, Arise, go unto Nineveh, that great city, and preach unto it the preaching that I bid thee. So Jonah arose, and went unto Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord.” Jonah 3:1-3

In 1980 I started a small business, went into debt and began to make money. I had always wanted to have a business, or so I thought. After having been set up and ready to work for several weeks I had still not had a job. That’s when surprisingly enough I asked God to give my little business some work and He did for awhile. We sold our house for a $25,000.00 profit and received a lease on some mineral rights that my parents had given us for $30,000.00. With that money we bought a bigger house and more equipment for the business. Now one of our excuses for my not following through with preaching had been that we couldn’t afford to just drop everything and go to seminary. After all we had children a home and responsibilities. But if we had trusted God, walked by faith, hindsight shows us that more than enough money would have been there for me to go to seminary.

In July of 1982 I knew again that I wasn’t where God wanted me to be but how could I walk away from a business and a home? God solved the problem for me! In October 1982 I made five or six thousand dollars but in November 1982 I didn’t make anything. The bust had come to the oilfield. By February of 1993 I had swallowed my pride and gone back to work for a company where I had previously worked. Jeanie was working again by this point as well. I decided that I would go back to college. I wanted to do something to help people and so I began studying for a masters in social sciences. By the end of the first semester I believed that I should try to become a probation and parole officer and my studies were directed to that end.

Meanwhile back in the real world I was working at a convenience store part time in maintenance and as a clerk. Our finances were becoming more and more desperate and we had been trying to sell our house for months to get rid of the huge house payment. It was getting close to Christmas and I remember praying and asking God to sell our house as a Christmas present. We moved out the day after Christmas.

The summer after I completed my degree God began speaking to me again about preaching His Word. During a one week period one passage of Scripture came to me three times. In my daily Bible reading God seemed to impress me in particular with three verses in Mark chapter 5: “And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel” (Mark 5:18-20).

Those verses in Mark seemed to stick in my mind and during the week I had the responsibility of giving a devotion at church. I decided that I would use Mark chapter five for my devotional. Again through the study and preparation for the devotion God seemed to speaking to me. Sunday morning came, and as our pastor, Henry Fletcher, stood to preach his sermon he said please “turn to Mark chapter 5.” At that point I knew that it wasn’t my imagination, God was trying to tell me something. But you see I had already made my plans, and my plans were to be a probation and parole officer. After all wasn’ t that why I had went back to school for a year at great cost and effort? Wasn’t that what I had told Jeanie, and family and friends that I was going to do? So with that in mind I looked at this passage of Scripture in Mark and told myself that even though in my heart I wanted to preach God’s Word, God was saying to go on with your life and forget about preaching. And that’s what I tried to do. In August 1984 I began work as a state parole officer. We moved to Enid, Oklahoma for a year and then back to Elk City. Being a parole officer was much more satisfying to me than working in the oilfield.

During this time period I began to memorize God’s Word. As I drew closer to Him, He drew closer to me and I began to hear that still, small voice of God again speaking about of all things, preaching His Word! I tried to make my job a substitute. I was a parole officer evangelist so to speak and tried to reach out in many different ways for the Lord. I gave tracts to my clients, I witnessed to them, I prayed for them (and still do), I invited them to church and to special events at church and some of them actually came. I talked with Jeanie a few times about still hearing the call but she was still very resistant. During this time period our oldest son, Clark, attended youth camp at Falls Creek and he too heard God’s call and made a commitment to special service. However, he somewhat followed my example and tried to back out on that commitment.

In 1990, Jeanie and I were involved in a study group called Master Life. We were both very active in church. Jeanie was teaching in the elementary department and serving on committees. I was director of the singles department and had led a study group and served as a RA Leader. I was the recording secretary for the deacon body and served on several committees.

In March 1990 in our Master Life study we came to a study on praying in faith. One night I wrote out a prayer (This is a somewhat dangerous thing to do!) asking that if God really wanted me to preach His Word to reveal that to me in black and white so that I wouldn’t have any doubt. The next morning in my quiet time I turned in the Our Daily Bread devotional guide that I used for some of my quiet time reading to that morning’s selection. The Scripture reading was in Luke chapter 8. Another nice warm devotional thought until I realized that Luke 8 is virtually the same as Mark chapter 5. Suddenly I realized that God was answering my prayer that I had written out the night before, “Now the man out of whom the devils were departed besought him that he might be with him: but Jesus sent him away, saying, Return to thine own house, and show how great things God hath done unto thee. And he went his way, and published through out the whole city how great things Jesus had done unto him” (Luke 8:38-39).

Now I realized that God was trying to tell me something, the same thing that He had tried to tell me before. This time I was going to look into this more deeply. I got down a commentary to see what it would say about this Scripture. The commentary said, Jesus had to leave Gadara, but he left behind a preacher. I opened up the Our Daily Bread devotional guide again to read the devotional thought. That day’s devotion was about a man in South America that was saved and grew in the Lord. This man started a Bible study which eventually grew into a church and he became the pastor of that church. There it was! For me it was in black and white, God had called and was calling me to preach His Word. I had a decision to make. I could go with God or I could turn away from God. There was really no choice. I knew, I really, really knew what God wanted. I shared with Jeanie what had happened and here was another surprise, she was no longer resistant to my preaching. On April 30, 1990 I made a public commitment at the First Baptist Church in Elk City, Oklahoma to preach God’s Word. This time there would be no turning back.

I seemed to be following in the steps of Jonah, “And Jonah began to enter into the city a day’s journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown. So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of the even to the least of them” (Jonah 3:4-5). Have you turned away from the call of God? Why not turn back, ask God to reveal His will to you in an unmistakable way and He will!

“But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. Then saith he unto his disciples. The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth laborers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:36-38).

An amazing thing began to happen, God began to reveal to me my spiritual heritage and some of the reasons His call never seemed to go away. When I shared with my parents about my preaching they didn’t seem all that surprised. They told me about how my great-uncle, Adair Wrather, always seemed to think that he had missed his call to preach. Because of that my great-aunt Carrie (Adair’s wife) had told them that since the time that I was saved that she had prayed for me and after my son, Clark, was born for him too that we would hear God’s call and not miss it like Adair had. We have both heard and my son has been a pastor for several years now as well. I also found out that Adair’s grandfather, Baker Wrather (my three great-grandfather), had been a Methodist minister in Tennessee. As I delved into my genealogy I found that on nearly every line were to be found ancestors of spiritual depth and activity. Growing up as I did not even attending church but for a couple of years this was indeed an amazing thing and seemed to confirm God’s call upon my life.

I struggled with whether or not to go to seminary. It just didn’t seem to be financially possible or possible in many other ways with Clark being a senior in high school. I finally got down to preparing a sermon and when I had my first sermon prepared the phone rang and it was about my filling in for a pastor in a couple of weeks that was going to be gone. By the time I had my second sermon finished another pastor had called and I would be preaching in about a week. From that time on I have been preaching nearly every Sunday. After about six months one of the churches where I had supply preached called me as their interim pastor, and in another six months I became the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Sweetwater, Oklahoma. I was still working as a parole officer but resigned at the end of October 1991. In December of that year I was ordained and Dr. Finley Tinnin who had led me to the Lord came and preached the charge at my ordination.

As I ministered and preached I began my seminary studies eventually receiving a Diploma in Biblical Studies. By 1992 I had begun writing to prison inmates all over the country and after going through the study course Experiencing God began a newsletter The Burning Bush which I began distributing to prison inmates. Eventually the newsletter was being distributed by 75 prison chaplains (Some of these chaplains were in jails, others for juvenile facilities.) in 44 states, Puerto Rico and two provinces in Canada. As a result of the newsletter many were saved, many lives were touched and redirected.

In 1995, I accepted the call to my second pastorate. There our youngest son became severely depressed because of his school situation and we knew that we had to leave. After hearing Ronnie Floyd preach on fasting at the Southern Baptist National Convention in New Orleans in the summer of 1996 we came back home and prayed. We prayed and fasted for a week and on the seventh day a Sunday the search committee from Trinity Baptist Church in Weatherford, Oklahoma called.

The problem with our going to Trinity was that it would be bivocational, a smaller church, not a step up the ladder and I would need to take a one thousand dollar a month reduction in income. Now we did not have a thousand a month extra to spare but we thought we would be okay if I could find a full-time secular job in addition to the pastorate. That shouldn’t be a problem, I had done it before when I first started preaching, hadn’t I?

We moved and I began to search for that secular job and every door seemed to be closed no matter how hard or long I knocked and we prayed and fasted. The church was doing great but financially we were sinking. My spiritual life seemed to be taking a beating as well as my emotional condition. My son was doing much better but I was sinking fast. But within a year's time Trinity had given us two raises, loved us and supported us and we had reduced our expenses to the point that we were almost back to being full time.

On Friday, June 13, 1997 God did an amazing thing in my life. A couple of weeks before at a family gathering I heard my Uncle say that my great grandfather, George Richard Marical had been involved with a Pentecostal Holiness Church. Now I knew when I moved to Weatherford that my great grandfather had lived there and had owned a grocery store. I knew that he had died in 1929 but that was about all that I knew. I decided to dig into this a little deeper. We went to the county courthouse and found my great grandfather’s will and estate papers.

From the papers that we found we were able to locate where my great grandfather had lived. It was only about four blocks from where we were living. According to the papers we had found my great grandfather had been a trustee of the Pentecostal Holiness church and when he died the estate paid off the remaining amount owed on the church building and land. I was intrigued to know where the church had been located. With the lot numbers and legal description in hand I went to city hall to look at their plat of the city. The lots of the church were located at....! The church where my great grandfather had been a trustee and had attended was located at the very same location as the church that I now currently pastored! For me this was a burning bush experience, a personal revival set in which I don’t believe I will ever get over. I found out from the grandson of my great grandfather that he had went with his grandfather south of Weatherford in 1927 and helped him to dismantle a church building that he had bought. They moved that building back to Weatherford and reconstructed it and that was the first Pentecostal church in Weatherford, Oklahoma. Amazing! God did seem to know what he was doing and was in control after all! If I had had any doubt I had none any longer. One year later the first Burning Bush email devotional was sent on June 8, 1998. A direct result I believe of that experience.

I have no doubt that the prayers of my ancestors and many others have reached down to touch and influence my life and the life of my family. As I think about the call of God upon my life I can only marvel at what He has done with this lump of clay, with this wretched sinner that I am. I have not finished the Journey to Fruitfulness but I do believe that I am much further along this Journey than when I began. I hope and pray to continue on this Journey for the rest of my life here on planet earth. Someday the Journey will be completed for I will have crossed through either death to the arms of my Savior or He will have come again and I will have met Him in the sky. Oh, what a glorious day that will be!